Turning Points

So, January 1, huh? I still feel the same.. things are pretty much back to normal again, though, and I gotta say that I'm happy to be back in the driver's seat - I work way better that way.

Bold claim alert - there probably isn't anyone in this city who's happier to be rid of the scourge that was 2008 than me. Let's quickly recap (I'm gonna do this in short, bullet-style sentences because I'm tired, and the bathrrom isn't gonna clean itself) -

Jan 2, 2008 - lost my job after 10 years over some bullshit that it's probably safe to talk about now.

Feb 1, 2008 - After incessant nagging, utter insensitivity, and downright asshole-ry from my Ex during a time of complete emotional #fail, finally packed my shit and buggered off after 6 years. 4 years later than I should've.. which led me to year lesson #1: your brain is usually much smarter than your heart (unfortunately). So now what? Well, obviously, having no job and no other outs, it was time to move back home. I'm sure that's not a totally ominous prospect for alot of you, but I've been away from home since I was 15 and the entire idea of it scared the bejesus outta me.

Feb & March - In a pit of self-loathing and self-pity - year lesson #2: that shit is a complete waste of time.

April - Kicked a certain largest courier company in Canada's ass at arbitration for wrongful dismissal. Got fat cheque. Started shitty new job because I had to get out of the house, still stuck there. Year lesson #3 - I rock.

May - August - Living with my mother 2 miles from where I went to high school. 2 bedroom apartment in Etobicoke with my mom, brother, and my mom's boyfriend. Situation deplorable. Drank too many pints, but was starting to come on again, so things were tolerable (for the most part). Spent most of the time trying to figure out how I'd come up so short, and decided that I'd never be in that boat again. Ego returned. Turned 30 in August, and to those of you who said it was catastrophic, you were wrong..

September - ...and then you were suddenly right (#win, but bite me). Breaking point. Snapped. British government approved my Right of Abode, and it was decision time - stay, or leave? Decided that escapism is for the weak, spent most of the money I'd been sitting on in an attempt to right the listing ship that was my life. Bought a car, got a new apartment - back on Roncesvalles, baby, where god intended me to be ;).

October - moved. Thank Christ. Found love. Reinstated social life to level unseen since Guelph when I was 19.

November - Love. This is how it was meant to be, not that clusterfuck that I was embroiled in for all those years. It wasn't just about her, though, it was the boy, her life, her friends.. everything. Although the words were never spoken, our eyes knew it, and they said it often. Getting to know that level of intimacy again would make the pain that was about to be heaped on more than worth it. Year lesson #4: Love love.

December - Lost love, and experienced heartbreak for the first time - 'bout time, dontcha think?. Strangely stoic about it once an explaination was given. Utter mess while waiting for explaination, though. Funniest thing about it was that I'm sure she just got scared and pulled away.. can't blame her, given the circumstances on her end of things. Went a little nuts. Happiness still unfound at the bottom of a bottle, not that alcohol has ever been any kind of appropriate coping mechanism, but it led me to a few other realizations.

Year lesson #5: No matter how wicked-cool they are, women are fucking strange.
Year lesson #6: Heart goes on sleeve. Always.
Year lesson #7: Keep faith.
Year lesson #8: Things can always be worse, at least you're still alive.

Waited for year to end.

That said, I look back over 2008 and kinda smile. I mean, as bad as things were, the ride was incredible, and the lessons invaluable (run-on sentence? you decide..too many commas, I think). I've got some pretty serious things on the go these days, and 2009 holds so much promise - I can't wait to see where this road goes next.

All the best this year to y'all and your loved ones, all good things - even when things aren't so good.

Cheers, kiddos.

J