30 Things You (Never) Wanted To Know About Me

01 - When I crave junk food, I want sweet, not salty
02 - I've never cried at a movie (except in Saving Private Ryan when the medic dies, but you have to be made of stone to not cry at that.)
03 - It's impossible to sneak up on me from the right ;)
04 - I know way more about nothing than I do about anything that matters.
05 - I'm seriously entertaining the idea of another tattoo, which seems kinda stupid for my age.
06 - I own too much Manchester United kit.
07 - I'm pretty sure I can't drink liquor anymore, but pints are always good...
08 - ...but if I could, it'd exclusively be Rye.
09 - I think all meat tastes better if it comes on a stick (classy, I know).
10 - They don't make jeans that fit me properly - always a little too big or a little too small.
11 - I'd rather go see live music than anything else.
12 - I hack at the guitar, but I try hard =)
13 - I found 80 bucks in the pocket of my other winter coat this morning.
14 - I love the Blue Jays.
15 - Conversely, I hate the f*cking Yankees.
16 - The scar on my chin is from a beer bottle, and not a shark attack like I've been claiming all these years.
17 - My favorite number is 3.
18 - My last name is spelled exactly how you think it is, and yes, I do laugh when you ask..
19 - I like shiny things.
20 - My mom really does think I'm cool (and handsome, to boot!)
21 - My dad, however, thinks I'm underachieving (and I secretly agree with him, but don't tell him that)
22 - If I had to be anyone other than myself, I'd be James Bond (or Batman)
23 - In the battle between heart and brain, heart usually wins. If I've been drinking, heart wins without a fight at all.
24 - According to my resume, I'm qualified to be Prime Minister.
25 - I'm a little bit country.
26 - Rogers once refused to change my phone number to '867-5309' saying that it was 'ridiculous'. I still disagree.
27 - I'm terrible at maintaining friendships.
28 - Gord Downie passed me a joint one time.
29 - There are only 5 artists whose CDs I will actually go to the store and buy. Everything else? iTunes (maybe ;)
30 - I can type about as fast as I can speak.

I Smoke Too Much

I guess it's safe to share this now.

It's been about a month since things went South in the romance department (again), but like I said earlier, I'm shockingly cool with it. I learned a few things, and it was interesting to be the heartbroken rather than the heartbreaker - I've never been there before; strange considering that it's taken 30 years for me to finally feel that sting.

(btw, pitfall to being a nice guy: Women LOVE it, and you need to be the bad guy all the time when things start to go sideways.)

I wrote this in the middle of that spinning sensation:

I smoke too much.

I've had the weight of the world on my shoulders for the past few days, and it's getting to be more than I can bear - it's my own damn fault anyway.

The pain nags at me, like the constant clatter of the streetcars that pass outside my window.

I'm starting to get concerned for my health. I haven't slept, and I just realized that I haven't eaten since Tuesday - not one bite - but I'm not hungry, I'm just tired..

I wait for a call that may never come; the sweet sound of her voice on the other end telling me that she misses me, asking me to come see her, to hold her close. I remember those times, and at times it's all I remember. The smell of her hair, the soft touch of her skin, her smile - her beautiful smile - could light up even the darkest of din.

It's pathetic, really, so I try not to think about it; but like the pink elephant it lingers in the background, constantly asserting itself.

I'm not sure exactly how I got to where I am, I just know that I'm here now, and that it's too late for me to go back. The worst part is that I know you felt it too, that I didn't come here alone.

But now she's gone, and that cold reality cuts through me like the wind on a bitter winter night.

The past few weeks have been a blur of doubt and insecurity - I was under the impression that I'd run the myriad of the emotional spectrum, and that I was pretty well equipped to deal with shit like this better than most people I know - man, was I wrong. Indeed, I've seen a fair bit of red in what's been of this little life, but I am not ready for this. Every impulse and instinct I've ever had has been wrong, every feeling beaten back with hurricane force.

I am a shell again.
I am terrified.
I am undone.

Of course, it's entirely inside the realm of possibility that I'm making mountains out of mole hills.. but this is the way I'm feeling right now, and I owe it to myself not to lie about it.

I'm a retard..

and, I smoke too much.

PS.

My mom thinks I'm cool.

'night, y'all.

iTunes - W/E 21 Dec 2008

Well, kiddos.. been awful at this for awhile, but whatever.

01 - Talk Tonite - Oasis - The Acoustic Sessions
02 - Hallelujah - The Helio Sequence - Keep Your Eyes Ahead
03 - Champions of Nothing - Matt Good - Live @ Massey Hall
04 - Sex on Fire - Kings of Leon - Only By The Night
05 - This Sudden Injury - City & Colour - Unreleased (?)
06 - I Want You to Stay - Maximo Park - A Certain Trigger
07 - Where Have You Been? - Manchester Orchestra - I'm Like a Virgin Losing a Child
08 - Comin' Home - City & Colour - Live
09 - Girl in the War - Matt Good - Unreleased Cover (Josh Ritter, The Animal Years)
10 - Blood Bank - Bon Iver - Blood Bank

As an aside, I thought I'd put together a quick top 10 of Matt Good tracks just for the hell of it. Maybe to compare it to everyone else's? I dunno.. anyway, here it is (oh yeah, no particular order, 'cause that'd be impossible ;) :

01 - Change of Season - Underdogs
02 - She's Got a New Disguise - Last of the Ghetto Astronauts
03 - Lullaby For The New World Order - Avalanche
04 - Blue Skies Over Bad Lands - White Light Rock and Roll Review
05 - The Rat Who Would Be King - The Audio of Being
06 - The Fine Art of Falling Apart - Loser Anthems
07 - Avalanche - Avalanche
08 - Champions of Nothing - Hospital Music
09 - Generation X-Wing - Raygun
10 - Running For Home - Beautiful Midnight

Cheers, all.

Ho Ho Humbug.

J

.//

Friends

Got the 'just friends' speech this morning. I'm actually pretty surprised. Aside from the absurdity of the past month, I was kinda hanging on to hope that this train wreck'd right itself.

I mean, it was really, really good - and then it went away pretty much over night. I've been stupidly confused about it, so at least I won't have to deal with that anymore - doubleplusgood.

I'm not gonna say I won't miss it though.. you should meet this girl, she's a gem. To that end, I can do 'friends'. I would love that.

Besides, who knows..? ;)

.//

Random Ramblings

What a ridiculous weekend.

First thing's first - spent Friday night in the Town with some of the more shady characters in my life, and it didn't take long to be reminded of why I don't go around there anymore. I do my damndest to avoid any kind of stupidity, which evidently doesn't work all the time. It's the end of the night when things always get out of hand. I don't know what it is about alcohol, but these idiots insist on waving their dicks around after about 8 pints - so I spent what was left of my Friday night in the middle of a scrap the size of which I haven't seen in a bunch of years; the good news is, I can still hold my own ;). Things got for real when some jackass figured it'd be a good idea to fire off a few rounds.. I'm gettin' too old for that shit.

In any case, I'm gonna cut that cord.

Aside from all that nonsense, I managed to get alot done this weekend. I finally went by the ex's place and picked up what was left of my stuff - it's only been about 6 months now I've been saying I was gonna do that. I got home early afternoon and tore the shit out of my flat: 90% of the stuff that I hadn't seen in a few months went in the garbage - I was due for a mini-catharsis, and I feel way better today than I have been lately. This weekend'll be time to paint and actually get it looking half respectable-like. It's about time.

Sunday was me day. I've still got a ton on my mind, so I decided to go for a drive - I ended up damn near Parry Sound by the time I realized that I should probably turn around and go home. I managed to put some pretty lucid stuff together. The only bad thing about mind-blogging while you're driving is that you can't really take any notes, so hopefully I can remember enough of it that I can actually put it down later for y'all.

This week looks good for me. T-minus 4 days 'til Ottawa.

Take care, kiddos.

Fire Up

Legendary

Best email retort in history - bar none.

This was the last in a chain of email discussing some work BS that was rife with some of the worst spelling and grammar I'd ever seen in my life. Apparently the point was made. =)

Zaa Zee.

Train Kept A Rollin'..

@fearitself - overheard - Question: 'you know how to get to Christie's, right? You know, the cookie place?', Response: 'Are you fucking kidding me? I'm a fat guy - I could find that place if I was blind.'.

It's been a bizarre day, kiddos.

I spent most of last night at my parents' place in glamorous Bolton, ON doing laundry. I was standing outside smoking a cigarette when the deja vu hit me. It was just under a year ago I was standing in the exact same position, doing the exact same thing trying to figure out how I'd fucked things up so badly. At the time, I had just lost my job - which was one of those jobs that you think you're going to have forever - but it was cool, 'cause it was a great job. I remember thinking that things'd never be the same. I remember worrying that things'd never be the same. Aside from losing just the job, I'd lost everything I'd known for the preceding 8 years of my life, and had nothing to show for it except for the same stupid grin that still gets me into trouble.

Added to that I had ended a 5 year relationship that was effectively poison; and eventhough it didn't stick until several months later, I knew at the time that we were done. There are just some things that people say that can't be taken back - some things that, while forgiven, can never be forgotten.

I was heartbroken.

The doctors gave me drugs that didn't work. The shrink only wanted to talk about my relationship with my parents, in spite of the fact that I had climbed that mountain and made peace with it almost a decade and half earlier. People kept telling me that things'd turn around, but I couldn't hear them. All I could hear was my own doubt, which was tempered with the excitement that comes along with not knowing what lay ahead. It was an interesting time of my life; a time that taught me more about what's important than the sum of the 29 years that'd come before it.

Standing alone in front of that house again last night gave me pause to think about the changes that've taken place in me this year - and that pause brought a smile to my face. The reality is that the only thing that got me through all those bad times was myself (with the occasional kick in the ass from the people who give a damn).

I'm at the edge of a completely different precipice these days.. there is still doubt and concern, but it's all good. There are things in my life right now that I can't figure out, and things that I want that may never come to fruition, but at least I know that there is more to the story - and that the sun will come up tomorrow, whether I'm ready for it or not.

I just thought it was funny how you have to figure these things out for yourself sometimes, no matter how sweet your support system is.

The 15 Track Playlist That'll Get You Through ANYTHING

And I do mean anything..

1 - Against the Grain - City and Colour, Bring Me Your Love
2 - The Boy With the Arab Strap - Belle and Sebastian, The Boy With the Arab Strap
3 - #41 (Acoustic) - Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds, Live at Radio City
4 - Lovers in Japan - Coldplay, Viva La Vida
5 - Your Love - The Outfield, Play Deep
6 - Black Monday - The Lowest of the Low, Hallucigenia
7 - Nothing In My Way - Keane, Under The Iron Sea
8 - AEnima - Tool, AEnima
9 - Please, Please, Please - Clayhill, This Is England OST
10 - Stand By Me - Oasis, Be Here Now
11 - Odette - Matthew Good, Hospital Music
12 - And If I Fall - The Charlatans, Wonderland
13 - Traffic - Stereophonics, Word Gets Around
14 - Shook Ones - Mobb Deep, Hell On Earth
15 - Easy Silence - Dixie Chicks, Taking The Long Way

It's also pretty good if you're just lazing around home... =)

The Problem with Escalation

So I've been doing a little thinking about Obama's proposed troop escalation in Afghanistan.

I'm sure that this hasn' t been lost on anyone, as you don't have to be a scholar of history to recognize the parallels between Afghanistan and US involvement in Vietnam. The bottom-line here is that there is no way that there can be decisive victory in the Afghan theatre through military might - just ask the Soviets. In order to truly secure victory in the region, the real solution will come through negotiation and multi-lateral politicking.

The theory behind the escalation, I'm sure, will be an attempt to replicate the American success of the 'surge' manoeuver in Baghdad earlier this year. The redeployment of troops focussed on quelling insurgency through overwhelming strength and presence. But, if we examine the British example in the case of Northern Ireland, the picture of absolute victory becomes one more filled with diplomatic success than with military power. The fact remains that the British were in Northern Ireland for better than 30 years fighting an enemy that was neither traditional, nor easily identifiable. The occupation, or 'The Troubles', resulted in more than 3,500 casualties on all sides and as many as 47,000 wouded - not to mention the terror campaign against the British mainland that included the now infamous bombings at Birmingham, Guildford, and London; as well as the ambushing of British subjects on the European continent. In the end, the Troubles were ended after a series of negotiated ceasefires broke down, and all-party talks were conducted leading to the Belfast Agreement in 1998 - the agreement restored self-government to Northern Ireland using a power-sharing model that included Sinn Fein, the political arm of the IRA.

The other two conflicts that are relevant here are, of course, Vietnam, and the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan in 1979. The first of these is probably the most questionable manoeuver in the history of the American military. The deployment of 'advisors' in Vietnam began in early 1950 and steadily increased with the first combat units arriving in 1965 - by 1975, over 8 million Americans had seen action in Vietnam. Further to that, by the time the US left Southeast Asia, the conflict had claimed close to 60,000 American servicemen, and sent more than 150,000 home wounded. On the Viet side, according to the Vietnamese government in 1998, the military casualties on the North Vietnamese side alone are estimated at 1.1 million servicemen, as well as a civilian death toll that ranges anywhere from 50,000 to 'several million'. When the Soviet Union entered Afghanistan in 1979 behind a force of 100,000 troops in the initial invasion, and a further 100,000 in reserve, the numbers are similarly alarming - estimates put the Afghan civilian death toll anywhere between 600,000 and 2 million, and Soviet casualties hovering around 15,000. The USSR pulled out of Afghanistan in 1989. In both cases, in spite of staggering human cost, no major policy objectives were achieved; ie: Vietnam was reunified in 1976, and the Parchams were ousted from power following the Soviet withdrawal and ensuing Civil War.

Apparently, history has taught us nothing.

Escalation will only serve to swell the ranks of the insurgency, and further aggravate an already explosive situation. The time has come to sit down and hammer out a deal that will see the Afghan people install a functional government and begin rebuilding their shattered country. This end cannot be accomplished through the use of military force, and it should be the focus of the new Administration to ensure that this end is met as quickly as possible.

Kotov Syndrome

from Wikipedia:

In chess, Kotov syndrome is a phenomenon first described in Alexander Kotov's 1971 book Think Like a Grandmaster. It occurs when a player thinks very hard for a long time in a complicated position, but does not find a clear path. The player then notices he is running low on time, and so quickly makes a move, often a terrible one that was not analyzed at all, and so loses the game. Once so described, many players have agreed that the process is very common.

Fitting.

Here We Go Again.

Here we go, kiddos.. one more trip down the rabbit hole tonight?

Might be in the cards.. I'll let you know.

If not, sleep tight, y'all.. the sun comes up tomorrow whether you like it or not.

//.

EDIT: Yes, I'm still an idiot. Last night was a rough one, kiddos.. I don't even know if recovery is an option from the missteps of last night. Isn't it a wonderful thing when your head fights with your heart? Isn't it funny that your heart usually wins when there's alcohol involved? Should be the other way around if you ask me. ;).

Guess Who's Back?

Well.

I spent the better part of last night migrating my posts from Windows Live to Blogspot, there are just too many options available here that Windows Live doesn't support. That said, I know that Google and Microsoft are rivals, but jesus.. there's no auto-import? Not even with RSS?! What a pain in the ass.. cut, paste, cut, paste. Wouldn't be so bad if the damn thing didn't go back to September of 2006. I'm gonna start working with Wordpress next week, hopefully I'll be able to put something nicer together, but for now this'll do.

In any case, I've been trying to move all my online social obligations to one place - things are gonna get a bit messy for awhile with contacts and stuff like that, so if I've forgotten about you, it's nothing personal (then again, if I've forgotten about you, you won't even see this..). I've also whittled down the social applications that I'm going to be paying attention to to Facebook, Blogspot, Twitter, and maybe Flickr only.. everything else is gone.

Onwards and upwards.. tweet free or die hard.

Things've been absolutely stupid for me lately. My personal life is in complete upheaval, which is causing me a good deal of distress, I gotta say. Whatever, that stuff'll take care of itself one day.. sooner rather than later, I hope, but some things are worth waiting for. Anyone who knows me knows that my best stuff comes out as a result of trying times, so at least there'll be some good posts coming up. I'm just in the middle of deciding what gets to make it in here and what doesn't. I was actually reading through a bunch of it yesterday and discovered that I can be a pretty damn depressing motherfucker. It's a good job that my sense of humour sticks with me through everything - I remember the days that it didn't. Ha.

So my dad called me last night and asked if I wanted to go out to eat, which I agreed to immediately having realized late yesterday aft that I hadn't eaten since Tuesday. I don't think food agrees with me anymore. It was good to see everyone in the middle of the week.. we should do that more often than we do.

Hopefully I'll get some new stuff up for you guys later in the day. Just wanted to let y'all know: I'm back.

Cheers.

Dave Matthews Band - Molson Amphitheatre - 18 June 2008

Original Post Date - June 19, 2008

So, no surprise here in saying that this was definitely the show of the Summer so far. Timmy Reynolds and Rawshan Ross even made apperances =). Setlist:

You Might Die Trying
Old Dirt Hill
Grey Street
Everyday
Corn Bread
So Damn Lucky
Dreaming Tree
Eh Hee
Sister
Dancing Nancies
Stolen Away On 55th & 3rd
One Sweet World
Jimi Thing
The Idea Of You
So Much To Say -->
Anyone Seen The Bridge? -->
Too Much

Encore:

Hey Hey My My (Into The Black)
Gravedigger
Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)

The Amphitheatre still wins the prize for greatest venue in the history of the universe.

Piece.

City and Colour - Massey Hall - 06 June 2008

Original Post Date - June 7, 2008







So,

Another great show last night, and all in all an excellent evening (barring some irksome events at the end of the night). Also, found a renewed love for Upper Canada Dark, which is pretty cool. Set list was as follows:

Forgive Me
The Death of Me
Sam Malone
Waiting..
Sometimes
Save Your Scissors
Sleeping Sickness
The Girl
Day Old Hate
Hello, I'm In Delaware
What Makes A Man
As Much As I Ever Could

Encore:

Against The Grain
Comin' Home

I gotta say, I love Massey Hall. Best Venue in the Province, hands down. I should get some rest, this hangover is killing me.

Dave Matthews next week @ the Amphitheatre.. until then.

Cheers.

Matt Good - Massey Hall - 29 May 2008

Original Post Date - May 30, 2008









Awesome show last night.. well worth the wait. From what I can remember, the setlist went something like this:

Champions Of Nothing
A Single Explosion
Odette
Weapon
The Devil's In Your Details
Hello Time Bomb
Born Losers
Load Me Up
Put Out Your Lights
Blue Skies Over Bad Lands
Black Helicopter
I'm A Window
99% Of Us Is Failure
Apparitions

Encore 1:

Giant
Avalanche
She's In It For The Money
Everything is Automatic

Encore 2 (Solo acoustic):

Strange Days
True Love Will Find You In The End

Rumours about the show being recorded are confirmed, so hopefully a live commercial release is in the cards somewhere (sweet..).

Cheers.

iTunes 10 - W/E 18 May

Original Post Date - May 19, 2008

I know I said I was gonna do this on a somewhat regular basis, I've been really, really bad at it. In any case, there are some tracks on here that I think people should listen to - well, if you're any kind of fan of good music, anyway ;). The Summer concert series is coming up, and I think this list is a reflection of that.

1] Girl In The War - Josh Ritter, The Animal Years
2] Comin' Home - City and Colour, Sometimes
3] Stay or Leave - Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds, Live @ Radio City
4] Pretty Girls (The Mover) - Against Me!
5] Champions of Nothing - Matthew Good, Hospital Music
6] The Death of Me - City and Colour, Bring Me Your Love
7] State Of The Union - Rise Against
8] Please, Please, Please - Clayhill, This is England OST
9] Parable - Matthew Good, School Teacher Demos
10] She's In It For The Money - Matthew Good, Hospital Music

Cheers, Kiddos..

I'm Beside Myself.

Original Post Date - May 9, 2008

It's official - I'm an idiot.

I used to operate under the assumption that I was a responsible, conscientious young man - last night changed all that. I'll give you the highlights:

Jays. Devil Rays. Chwartacky. Beers. Extra Innings. Grand Slam. Picadilly. Scraps. Cops. Injury. Cab.

Somewhere in all that nonsense someone lifted my jacket. You wanna know what was in it? My passport, birth certificate, iPod, video camera, Overbay jersey (don't ask), keys, fifty bucks. Not to mention the jacket itself.

I called in to work to boot, which they aren't bound to be impressed by.

Unreal.

Perspective (And Thanks..)

Original Posting Date - April 12, 2008

A man is walking down the street when he falls into a big hole. When he hits the bottom, he notices that the walls are too steep, and too far apart for him to get out. After a while, a doctor walks by and the man calls up to him "Hey Doc, I'm stuck in this hole and I can't get out, can you give me a hand?". The doctor stops, scribbles down a presciption, throws it down the hole and carries on his way. Later, a priest walks by and the man calls up again "Father, I'm down in this dark hole and I can't get out, can you help me?". The priest stops, writes down a prayer, throws it down the hole and moves along. Finally, the man sees his friend walking by, he shouts up to him "Hey man, I'm stuck in this dark hole and I can't get out, can you help me?". The friend, without hesitating, jumps down into the hole and gives the man a hug. "Are you crazy?!", the man screams, "now we're both stuck in this awful hole!". The friend smiles and says "I know, but I've been down here before, mate, and I know the way out".

Thanks everyone.. for everything.

Things We Did With The Downtime

Original Post Date - March 9, 2008

So, my hiatus from the throngs of productive citizenry are coming to an end on Tuesday morning, and I thought I might do a quick recap, if only for myself, of the things that kept me occupied while I was unoccupied. I'm a little miffed that the new employer changed the deal at the last minute, and now the pot isn't that sweet, but let's face it.. if they had've offered me a peanut butter sandwich and some loose pocket tobacco I would've taken it. So here we go;

Packs of smokes - 29
Pizza Pockets - 18
Bowls of Cereal - 12
Chicken Wings - 22 (thanks, Dad!)
Loads of Laundry - 6 (mostly from being in my PJs all the time)
Hours on Facebook - 1,100
Things I Sold on eBay - 6
Things I Bought on eBay - 1
Songs I Bought on iTunes - 0 (ha!)

Movies -

No Country for Old Men
There Will Be Blood
Hitman
Juno
Superbad
Trailer Park Boys Movie
Rambo IV
Super Troopers
Hot Fuzz
Hot Rod
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
Snatch
Clerks
Clerks 2
Mallrats
Jay & Silent Bob Stirke Back
Minority Report
300
Alien Vs. Predator 2
Dawn of the Dead
Red Planet
Eastern Promises
Dances With Wolves
The Postman
We Own The Night
American Gangster
Beowulf
30 Days of Night
Gone Baby Gone
The Brave One
Bee Movie
I Am Legend
Four Brothers
The Warrios
The Big Lebowski
Rounders
Dodgeball
American Wedding
Run, Fatboy, Run
40-Year-Old Virgin
Ronin
Good Luck Chuck

% of these movies that sucked - 85

TV Series -

24 - Season 1
Arrested Development - Seasons 1 - 3
Jericho - Season 1
The Office (US) - Seasons 1 - 4
The West Wing - Season 1

Concert DVDs -

Dave Matthews Band - Live at Piedmont Park
Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds - Live at Radio City Music Hall

New Songs on Guitar I Learned -

38 Years Old - The Tragically Hip
Don't Panic - Coldplay
Wonderwall - Oasis
Sleeping Sickness - City and Colour
Waiting - City and Colour

Video Games I Beat -

Assassin's Creed
Guitar Hero III
Guitar Hero II
Halo 1
Halo 2
Halo 3
Call of Duty 4
Rainbow Six Vegas
Super Mario Kart
Gears of War (well, Kevin did, but I watched)
F.E.A.R.
Half-Life 2
Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo - All Characters

I'm sure that there are some that I've forgotten.. but you get the idea =).

Cheers.

//.

Reclaimation

Original Post Date - January 11, 2008

Has anyone seen me, I've looked everywhere.
I float here now
high above it all -
my mutilated self lies on the sidewalk below.
You did this to me,
how could you?

I feel nothing anymore.
The boy I knew all those years ago,
so full of hope and promise is dead.
I couldn't stop the bleeding.
I did this to me,
how could I?

I sit here now,
left alone to wallow -
and as the tears run down my face
I wonder
'Good God, How could I?'

Man, I just found that. I wrote it about 10 years ago.. I guess even then I knew that the path I was on was all wrong for me. It's 10 years later now, though, and I wish to God I'd had the good sense to listen to myself all that time ago.

According to some people, I'm mentally unstable. I would argue that I have a better grip on things now than I've ever had.

Cheers.

Analyze and Intrrrrrprt

Original Post Date - December 7, 2007

My life is a series of essays.

I stand at the edge of the plateau, and though having completed close to 30 years of exhaustive conditioning, I am woefully under-prepared for what comes next. There is no path that rises up to meet me; indeed, there is no path at all. I turn around, looking back over the terrain I have crossed to come to where I stand now. Life - laid out in topograph. The faces are familiar, but somehow changed. I wish I had taken the time to let them know what they meant to me, but it's too late for that. Places and events run like film through my mind, and I watch myself from outside myself.

Now what?

The moments rush by, they are almost imperceptible. Time takes no note of this, foolishly ploughing ahead in search of some distant finish line. I miss the man that I was before I became the man that I am, but he is gone now... gone without even saying goodbye. Those are always the hardest. If he were here, this would be a piece of cake. Eventhough what lies ahead holds infinite more promise than that which lies behind, I yearn for years gone by. I miss the familiarity of that which I've known, and cower like a whipped dog in the face of what's to come.

How did we get here?

The past is what's brought us all to this very same plateau. I dream of our fathers, bleeding on ancient battlefields. Bleeding, and dying with purpose. Purpose is what's missing. Our traditions, our history - the collective knowledge of our species whittled down and sold to us as entertainment. We eat it up, each of us complicitly waiting for death's sweet release. We dress it up with fancy belief systems, and reinforce them with the insane belief that there is some other being that is responsible for this mess; but in the end, we have no one to blame but ourselves.

The world's gone mad. We live in regret of the past, and anticipation of the future. We search for answers, only to come back with more questions. We search for meaning, only to find it elusive. We are bombarded with the life we have made for ourselves - work, sleep, spend. They give us pills to calm our nerves, to help us sleep - to remove pain, fear, anxiety. Somehow, I doubt that this is what those men who've bled throughout history have envisioned for us. We run through life on auto-pilot.. so what happens if there is nothing else? What happens if this is it?

I turn and face the ledge in front of me. I feel brand-new, and although I still have no idea what I'm doing, I swear I'll die in the attempt. I turn quickly now, with purpose. My feet have become unrooted, and I move ever closer to the edge.

Breathe in, breathe out.

There is still no path that rises to meet me, but my spirit won't sit idle any longer.

Everything's Backwards..

Original Post Date - September 27, 2007

This country astounds me. You have to go North to get warm, the water does all the wrong way, cars are on the wrong side of the road.. unbelievable. Anyway, we're up in Queensland at the moment, staying in beautiful Airlie Beach. This place is awesome, it kinda reminds me of a nice mix between Wasaga Beach, and Banff. Things are a bit pricey, but if you could see the place, you'd understand why. Tomorrow is the big Reef trip, and I'm surprised that I should be in good shape for that, having not yet burned myself from the wicked hot sun - If the devil is alive on Earth, he definately lives in Australia. Most of our time here so far has been spent laying on the beach, or at the side of the pool. I started reading 'The Pillars of the Earth' on my old man's recommendation, and I gotta say, it's been an excellent time-killer so far.

Oddly enough, I'm getting a little homesick.. it's strange to wrap your head around the fact that your entire base of support is half a world away. I'm just waiting to kill time at the moment, soon it'll be time to eat again; that's quickly becoming my favorite part of the day. I can't really post any pics right now, I left the USB cable in Sydney.. but we'll be back there on Saturday (or something..).

Just thought I'd check in while I had the time.. talk to ya soon.

//

All Unattended Baggage Will Be Confiscated and Destroyed..

Original Post Date - September 24, 2007

So we made it.

After 40 hours or better of non-stop travel, we landed in Sydney last night around lunchtime. Five hours took us to Vancouver, where I was more than happy to see Kev again, we even went for a pint. That being said, Vancouver blows. I've never seen the kind of traffic that we saw there.. I dunno how people put up with it. And they laugh at Toronto for having an 8-lane highway. From Vancouver, we had a refuelling stop in Honolulu that ended up taking about 7 hours, becuase the air conditioner on the plane broke down. According to the Air Canada chick, we were about 10 minutes from spending the night when the finally got it straightened out. On top of that, there's nowhere you can have a smoke in the airport there, so you have to go completely outside - I think Steve and I cleared U.S. Customs and Immigration half a dozen times - by the time we left, the security detail knew us by name. Leaving Hawaii was a little bittersweet, I was kinda rooting for a layover. Apparently, the USS Arizona memorial is a 10 minute drive from the airport, and I've been thinking of making that trip for a long time. Too bad, maybe on the way back? We left Hawaii for the longest leg of the trip - Honolulu to Sydney -> 10.5 hours, here we go. The ride was awful - My ass was asleep by the time I couldn't see Maui and it never really woke up until this morning. On the upside, we had Victor Kozyn as our flight attendant, and I managed to snap a quick pic of video game celeb Donkey Kong while aboard. After falling so far behind schedule, we weren't really in the scheduled landing sequence once we finally made it to Australian airspace, so we got the added bonus of a low fly-by of the entire city; what a sight. I don't think I've seen a city that looked so beautiful - and we hadn't even been on the ground yet. We landed only to find out that because of the delicate Aussie ecosystem, the government here require that all inbound international flights are required to be sprayed down by a 'non-toxic, eco-friendly, approved by the World Health Organization, pesticide'. After all these assurances, the cabin crew came out in rubber gloves and dust masks - sure it's safe.

Michele met us at the airport, and all I could think about, in spite have having done nothing for the duration of our journey but eat, all I could think about was food. We stopped at the McDonald's in the airport, and I immediately fell in love with Aussie 'cuisine'. Everything here tastes FANTASTIC. I dunno how to stress enough, you probably won't understand until you come here - and I strongly recommend that you do. It was a quick run on the train to Wollongong, where we dropped our bags quickly and took the dime tour of the beach. By then though, all I wanted to do was go to bed. I was so tired that I didn't even bother to call home and check in with anyone. I slept right through until 7:30 this morning - that's when I made all my calls home. Today is nothing really to write home about.. we did take a sweet, independent mission to 'Woolie's' (Woolworth, remember Woolworth?) to get bacon and eggs. Supermarkets here are weird. The eggs aren't refrigerated, and the bacon is strategically placed in like 3 different areas of the store. Things are grossly expensive, so we spent about 30 bucks on breakfast. It was worth every penny.

We just got in from the beach now, and we're killing time before dinner. I'm dying for a smoke, and I can't wait to eat. I'll try to update more whenever I can. Hope everyone is well - Talk to y'all soon.

Cheers.

//.

When It Rains, It Fucking Pours

Original Post Date - September 3, 2007

What a week.

It all started on Sunday night when I realized that my passport wasn't where I'd left it. You know when you have something that's really important, and you decide to get clever and put it in a place where you're BOUND to remember where it is? Have you ever had an occasion when you were too clever for your own good? The true genius in this manoeuver was that I had tucked my birth certificate into the passport thinking 'Sweet, with both of them together, I'll NEVER lose them! You're sooo smart, Black'. In any case, that would've left me 21 days to replace my birth certificate and my passport. I was in full out panic mode. I also found out that if you lose a passport that's still valid, you have to swear to a notary that you haven't done anything dodgy with the thing (ie: sell it to terrorists, or the like). So after freaking out for almost 30 hours without sleep of any sort, I ended up finding the damn thing 3 feet from where I'd hidden it in the first place. What a waste.. I'm taking medication for the ulcer still, the doctor said I was fine, but that I was also an idiot. I agree.

On top of that, we had to finalize the plans for the trip to the Great Barrier Reef.. kind of a mute point when I have no travel documents of any sort, but what the hell.. we've come this far, so.. We booked the flight, and found what appears to be a semi-respectable place to stay in Airlie Beach, QL, Oz. I'm super-excited.

As if that's not enough, I've decided to stiff out on my apartment and leave 2 weeks ahead of schedule due to the 'issue' of the plumbing (my toilet hasn't been able to flush for the past 3 weeks, and my landlord hasn't done a damn thing about it). That's all well and good, unfortunately, I can't move into the new place on account of the fact that there may be mold. What the fuck. So I had to cancel the big move, and after completely buckling under the weight of my own life, decided that the best move would be to bugger off up North for the weekend and get fall down drunk. Pretty cool, huh?

So where does that leave me? I'm leaving for Oz in 18 days and I still have to move apartments sometime before I go. Not to mention the ridiculous amount of shopping and preparations that I still have to make in order to be ready to leave the country.

I love my life. Wish me luck.

Unreal

Original Post Date - August 28, 2007

So, Kiddos, first up - Thanks so much to everyone for the birthday wishes, that was awesome. To those of you that made it to the 'little' gathering that was put together, very cool, I hope you had a good time - and if you have any pics please send them ASAP.. especially if there are any out there of me sleeping in the burr bush. That'd be sweeeeeet.

I haven't really had alot of time to update, or even think about updating, what with Australia being only 23 days away.. I promise I'll get to it soon.

Take care, everyone, and thanks again.

Musiktheorie

Original Post Date - August 6, 2007

I met a girl the other day who had no interest in music whatsoever. She didn't have a favorite song, no favorite band or genre.. no nothing. I thought I'd heard everything. I don't know how all you feel about your music, kiddos, but I would imagine that you're at least somewhat knowledgeable, at least have a concept that it's out there. I, on the other hand, am completely passionate about mine. It's funny, in spite of not learning a damn thing academically at University, I remember a first year philosophy prof saying that music is the most difficult thing for a philosopher to define. It is, he said, nothing but memories and anticipation, as each note comes and goes so quickly that we're either waiting for the next, or remembering the last. Interesting, don't you think? There's an interesting line in Music & Lyrics with Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant that goes like this: "Melody is like seeing someone for the first time - physical attraction, sex. Then, as you get to know the person, those are the lyrics - their story, who they are underneath. It's the combination of the two that makes it magic.". It's really cornball, but about right.

If nothing else, music provides an outlet to amplify a particular mood you might be in, to pull you up when you're down, to remind you of a particular time/person in your life, or to help understand things that are otherwise outside of our understanding/experience. That being said, I think that at the end of each week I'll start posting the top 10 tracks from my iTunes.. maybe it might stir conversation, or open someone up to something they've never heard before. Very cool idea, I think.

1] A Single Explosion - Matthew Good - Hospital Music, playcount: 6
2] Pretty Girls (The Mover) - Against Me! - Searching for a Former Clarity, playcount: 5
3] When You Were Young - The Killers - Sams Town, playcount: 5
4] Sonne - Rammstein - Mutter, playcount: 5
5] Thousands Are Sailing - The Pogues - If I Should Fall From Grace With God, playcount: 5
6] Bricks - Rise Against - The Sufferer and The Witness, playcount: 4
7] Johnny Come Lately - Steve Earle - Copperhead Road, playcount: 4
8] Civil Sin - Boy Kill Boy - Civilian, playcount: 4
9] Nothing In My Way - Keane - Under the Iron Sea, playcount: 4
10] Fifteen Years - The Levellers - Levelling the Land, playcount: 3

Cheers. //

Welcome Home, Son

Original Post Date - July 31, 2008

So.. Don't get me started on yesterday's result - I have no comment. Kiss the playoffs goodbye though, and welcome back to reality.

I started back at work today after the most rewarding (and pneumonia-free, thank God!) vacation week in recent memory. I don't really remember what I did, but I know that it felt like I'd been off for a month. It was the kind of vacation that you were ready to have end. Knowing that, I went to work today with renewed dedication and a positive attitude. It took all of 7 minutes after I'd arrived to bring me right back down to where I'd been before I left. I'm starting to think that a career change is in order - to be honest, peddling roasted peanuts to tourists on a beach in Mexico sounds VERY appealing right now. I wonder if I'd have trouble getting a work visa? Anyway, we didn't clear tonight for the first time in 11 days.. and guess who gets to answer for it? Ya. 10-4 rubber duck.

Welcome Back, kid, we've missed you.

Closer to home, and of tons more significance in the whole grand life-plan, I'm getting the hell out of this apartment. Which reminds me: if anyone knows someone who's looking for a great place, let me know. The problem I've had is that it's just not fitting my lifestyle anymore (read: I'm broke, and have to move somewhere cheaper). But it really is charming, provided you can put up with Parkdale.. which is kinda like Rexdale, without the 11 o'clock curfew. The place is a one-bedroom, with a washer-dryer in the apartment, as well as a dishwasher. It's about 900 sq. ft. and is really quite charming. The people in the building are nice, and even all hold down steady jobs - which is always a plus. I'm gonna try to post some pics if I ever manage to get my camera back from the old man's car. In any case, it's available Sept. 1st.

Talk more soon - I just realized I've gotta be in tomorrow for like 11 (I love project work).

Cheers.

Toronto FC, Aston Villa, The Red Patch Boys, and Frustration

Original Post Date - July 29, 2007

So, once again, it's been awhile since I've been at this. However, since it seems to me that all you voyeurs and vagabonds would like to stay abreast of what's going on in my life, I'm going to attempt to be at least a little more frequent with this thing. Truth be told, I, like so many of you, have found a new outlet for my online time-killing - Facebook. And since I just figured out how to properly RSS the damn thing, it seems fitting that I should marry my two cyber-vices (ok, ok, so there are a few... let's not talk about that =).

Where to begin? For me the choice is obvious, for you it may be a touch nerve-racking, but here we go. Wednesday evening marked the long-awaited friendly between Aston Villa and Toronto FC. I'd been looking forward to it since I managed to score the tickets a few months ago. I went down to the game with my brother, Dan, who's just returned to civilization after spending 18 months in Alberta (poor bastard). We had been having a relatively good day, having just watched the Jays slam in 11 runs in the 6th inning to complete the sweep of the Minnesota Twins. We got to BMO just after 6, and did the walk around, as it was Dan's first time at the pitch. We took our seats about 15 minutes before kickoff, in section 104 - traditionally not the loudest section at BMO, but not bad nonetheless. It didn't take long for me to realize that this was going to be a loooooong game - we happened to be sitting directly in front of the most obnoxious c*nt in the whole place - that being said, there are a few things I need to address. God willing, someone will read this that knows her and smack her for me:

1) Remark: 'This section sucks! No one ever chants here, nothing but fair-weather fans.. Fuck all of you.'. Let me respond with this: I've been following the team since Brennan was signed, can name the entire squad by number, own home-and-away kit, and have been to 5 home games and 1 road game this season. You couldn't even name the backup keeper (Djekanovic #18, btw) - who's fair-weather?

2) 'Can you hear _____ sing?' is an away chant. Not to mention the fact that Aston Villa fans are in Birmingham, England - almost 3500 miles away, so you probably won't hear them singing.

3) 'This is our house!', also an away chant, but nice try.

4) It's a friendly. Settle down. Not to mention the fact that they don't care.. here's a little history about AVFC that you probably didn't know - They won the Champion's League in 1982, are 7-time First Division Champions in England, have won 7 FA Cups, and 5 League Cups. On top of that, they've also won the European Super Cup, and the InterToto Cup.

5) Gareth Barry (who holds 37 caps for his country) was nearly hit with a beer cup while taking a corner kick - show a little fucking respect people.

To boot, we were sitting with a bunch of fans who had made the journey from England to see the game. I've never been so embarrassed to be a Torontonian. What kind of stories do you think they'll be telling about how the hospitality in this city was? The OSA has dealings with Everton FC, and it'd be nice to see them come over sometime.. is that realistic when the members of the largest supporters' club (the Red Patch Boys) are allowing their members to conduct themselves in this manner?

To all you regular RPBs out there, keep up the good work, but remember this: We're here to support the team, and the game - not further the prosperity of your little 'club'. Keep your people in check.. TFC is a experience that different people appreciate in different ways, who are you to take that away from them?

Chicago tomorrow.. 'Put out the Fire! TFC!'

Cheers.

Excel Ninjitsu

Original Post Date - January 10, 2007

Private Sub Worksheet_Change(ByVal Target As Range)
If Not Intersect(Target, Range("B:B")) Is Nothing Then
Target.Offset(, 1) = Time
End If
If Not Intersect(Target, Range("D:D")) Is Nothing Then
Target.Offset(, 1) = Time
End If
End Sub


Word, homey.

Nothing's Changed.. Nothing Ever Changes..

Original Post Date - January 10, 2007

What's all this hoo-ha about the new year, new promises, new possibilities..?

Eternal optimists be damned.. nothing's changed - nothing ever changes.

btw, couple of things:
1) eat my balls Mourinho - Larsson and Solskjaer ftw!
2) I love you too, I miss you
3) Keep playing like that, you'll be crying soon enough (ps- I'm taking my gf out for dinner, on you ;)
4) I am charisma - let's not mince words anymore..
5) 'I LOVE(d) your party!!'

See you at the Taj, Mr. Chan..

(and for those of you that like to read into everything.. see point (1).. you can join him)

F*ck Peter Kenyon and Abromivich, F*ck you Mourinho You Son of a B*tch

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Bah Humbug!

Original Post Date - November 12, 2006

Christmas is my favorite time of year, it always has been. Something about the smell of snow, pine needles, people getting together to celebrate the season (and I say that in the most non-demoninational, least exclusionary way possible..). That being said, I went to the mall today. It's Saturday. It's November 12. What an eye-opener. I know that this blog is fast becoming an outlet for unbridled rage, but dammit someone needs to comment on the sad state of society these days. What ever happened to cheer, goodwill t'ward men, and all that? I walked through the mall today and saw nothing but inconsiderate, self-absorbed, or inattentive people shuffling about their Christmas grind. Can no one on this planet read the play anymore?

Example: I was walking out of Wal-Mart and for some reason there was a line of carts blocking all the doors to the exit but one. So after following the the corridor that remained to the outside, the woman in front of me, who of course had one of those Ford Excursion style strollers (I dunno about a baby, she may have had her husband in there though..), decides that she's going to stop, put her bags down, and make a phone call. She, in effect, became a plug. Why not stop somewhere out of the way? Did she not notice that she was standing in front of the only route out of that hell? Apparently not. This is becoming all too common - no one gives a shit about anyone else, only themselves. I held the door for another woman today, and not only did she not say 'Thank You', she shoulder barged me on the way by and didn't bother to apologize; she just looked at me, snarled, and carried on. Another guy at the grocery store tried to cut in line just for the hell of it.

Civilized countries pride themselves on something - common decency. Have we none?

Moving along on this whole mall issue - there are rules when you drive your car, should these rules not apply as well in places where many people trying to get somewhere? Sounds like traffic.. looks like traffic.. and yet there are no rules. So the next time you're at the mall take into consideration the following, for all our sakes:

- You already know what you've bought - so there's no need for you to be looking into your shopping bags while walking around.. ask Eric Lindros what happens when you cut across centre with your head down.

- Stopping in mid-stride is unacceptable, so don't look at me like you're gonna cry when I bump into you.

- I know you can move faster, so do it.

- My mother had a stroller that was so small, she could fold it up and put it in her purse - there's no need for one that would put some SUVs to shame.. I know rap music tells you that Lincoln Navigators are cool, but if you can't afford the real thing, this is not an appropriate substitution.

- No, it's not okay to 'just hang out' - go get drunk under an overpass like normal teenagers.

Christmas, you say? Humbug..

Wha Happen?

Original Post Date - November 3, 2006

Jesus..

Been awhile, kiddos - things are taking a turn for the surreal in this little life of mine, but I won't bore you with the details. Have you ever noticed that people are completely fucked? Everyone walks around with their insecurities and trivial concerns tattooed across their foreheads like banners marching in a ticker-tape parade. I've got news for you, though - no one else gives a shit. People are so wrapped up in the TLN soap opera that is their own existence that they have no time for whatever your sorrows are, so get over yourself. The proper response to 'How are you today?' is 'I'm fine, you?' - I don't care about your touch of diarrhea, the problems you have in your home life, or the fact that the weather is changing (I already know that, btw, welcome to Canada!). There's been this resurgence lately of people coming in to my life that I've gone out of my way to be rid of. In't lovely? Why don't people listen when the message you're sending is brilliantly clear? Apparently, I'm an ineffective communicator - who knew? I've spent the last 4 years of my life screaming at the top of my lungs - I did that because I chose to, and maybe if someone had've taken their lips off the bottle long enough to hear the words passing my lips, I wouldn't be getting bombarded with questions from all you shit-stirring, pea-brains right now. Make no mistake about it, it was you who fanned the flames - it was you who incited - it was you who are responsible. And now you want me to qualify my decision to you? You need answers? I need to justify myself to you? Is there something further I owe you? Something else you can take from me, maybe? Well, in the immortal words of Vice President Dick Cheney - 'Go Fuck Yourself'.

Cheers.

United 2 - Newcastle 0

Original Post Date - October 2, 2006

Well..

After a somewhat rocky start to what was to be a weekend of self-indulgence, things got back on track nicely on Saturday night. I spent most of the day wondering what I had done to deserve an agnozing retrospective on the previous 4 years of my life. I don't wanna hijack tongiht's blog like so many Saturday nights [Aside - yes, I realize that those who don't know me have no idea what I'm talking about, maybe one day I'll regale you all with tales of my Sophoclean life of late], but suffice it to say that I've finally experienced my own personal deus ex machina. In any case, it was later that night, after mulling it over for a good 20 minutes, that I finally found the nerve to pick up the phone. After a few minutes of stumbled, but surprisingly comfortable conversation (I am quite the cunning linguist), I had convinced a friend of a friend that we should meet for a coffee - 'coffee' meaning 'drinks', and 'friend of a friend' meaning 'none of your beeswax'. We talked and laughed like we were old friends, and she left for home in the wee morning hours (get your mind out of the gutter, lol). We had a good laugh, and the night left me on a pretty good high.

I'd been up so bloody late the night before, that I missed most of the United match - odd how a woman can do that, in't dahlings? But lemme tell you about my joy when I'd heard that Ole Gunnar Solskjaer had potted both goals as United eased past Newcastle. I can't tell you how happy I was for that kid.. coming off the injury to his knee (he was out for 20 months), I was afraid that I wouldn't get to see him play again - and to see the sort of season that he's having on his return really does me well. After the break for internationals, we're Away at Wigan, hopefully the Reds can use the momentum from this morning to extend the winning streak.

As if that wasn't enough to make me feel better, didn't I get a call at around 9 tonight from that friend of a friend? Things are looking up, lads!

20 LEGEND

They're at the Post..

Original Post Date - September 26, 2006

What a cracker of a weekend. First off, United 1 - 1 Reading, wtf?! United carry on with their uncanny ability to drop points to mediocre teams. To their credit, Reading fought hard, but Jesus.. (it's ok, I can say that.. JC is my homey..)

Well.. the band-aid is finally off, folks. Let me tell you, what they say is true: pull hard and get that fucker off; the slow, wussy way hurts a hell of alot more, trust me. I know what you're saying, 'Blackie, what the hell do you know?'. Just remember: I don't know much, but I still know more than you..

I've been sleeping on the couch for a couple of days due to some ridiculous bee revolt going on in my bedroom - I refuse to be woken up again with a stinger in me, eventhough it's only slightly more annoying than that sound that my alarm clock makes.. besides, they were getting ever closer to my pink parts - and to hell with that.

And so, freedom it is - the concept is kind of alluring, I must admit. And while I can readily say that it scares the hell out of me, I can't resist the urge to see what's behind that proverbial door #2. Once more into the fray, dear friends..

Tally ho.

Clarity

Original Post Date - Sept 19, 2006

Sometimes I think I'm too clever for my own good - other times, I know I am..

G'night ppl.

United 0 - Arsenal 1

Original Post Date - Sept 17, 2006

It's funny how the loss of feeling associated with waking up the morning after a 15 pint night fades away on match day. Regardless of how you should be feeling, nothing dull the joy of seeing the United machine roll over opponents - 'thanks for coming out, lads, showers are in the back'. I shared this feeling this morning with a couple close friends, 75,000+ at the Theatre of Dreams, and millions more worldwide. C'mon, lads, let's give these Arsenal wanks a right stuffing. After a scrappy, yet brilliantly entertaining first half, I happily cracked a pint - secure in the belief that we were in control enough to take maximum points. The start of the second half would challenge that belief. After an uninspiring start, the first cracks of concern start to show up - all of the sudden this luke-warm beer isn't tasting so sweet. The patchwork midfield is allowing huge gaps in the middle and the Gunners are exploiting every mistake. The Reds held on until late, but in the 85th minute Ronaldo gave up possession, and United would pay for it. Fabregas picked up the ball and weaved through a couple of defenders before putting the ball through to Emannuel Adebayor, who had made a brilliant run. Adebayor slid the ball under a diving Kuszchak to put the Gunners 1-nil up.

Heartbreak.

I'm numb again. The hangover that's been waiting in the wings comes rushing in, and I need to take a nap. It was a well fought victory for Arsenal, and I won't deny that they earned it - but dammit, that doesn't mean I have to be happy about it. Someone will have to pay for this - and I've got a funny feeling that it will be newly promoted Reading. My prediction? United 5 - Reading 0. And for the record, FA Player of the Week - Cristiano Ronaldo.

UNITED! UNITED! UNITED!

Who Needs a Title?

Original Post Date - September 16, 2006

Well, here it is - my long awaited blog entry. Who the hell reads these things anyway? There are tons of better things to use the internet for than to spread deviant points of view held by derelicts and shiftless lay-abouts.. but I can't think of any right now, so away we go.

Saturday morning and I'm waking up with one of the wickedest hangovers in recent memory. I guess I asked for it though; I tried to warn myself last night that all that Jager was probably not a good idea, but what the hell do I know, right? Some interesting things can run through a drunken mind whille sitting in a dingy chinese food place at 3 in the morning waiting for chicken balls and peppered beef. Where the hell did we all go wrong with our lives? If you had have asked me 20 years ago where I would be right now, do you think that my answer would have involved this level of mediocrity at all? Hell no. Like I said.. weird. Drunken idiots think about 2 things: 'Do I have any more beer at home?' and 'How the hell am I going to get home?', neither of which has entered into consideration until they are immediately pressing. And that's how I found myself sitting in a strange place, at a ridiculous time, wondering what the hell happened to me. The answer is there is no answer. This is your life, there are no mulligans, and there sure as hell aren't any rehearsals. Cliche, I know, but it's true.

So here I am.. 10 hours later - in the middle of the wreckage of my good time. Empty styrofoam containers everywhere, an open bag of Chewy Chips Ahoy, 3 bottles of Coke in the fridge, a roach that would last through 3 roties of 4 people, and a headache that threatens to sideline me for the big United v. Arsenal match tomorrow (C'mon you Reds!). So what have I learned? Not a damn thing.

I'll see you tonight - Schooners anyone?