This blog is seriously irking me lately. I really wanna make the move to something nicer, but I just don't have the time right now - I've been all over the damned place.
They've blocked Twitter @ work, so life here is getting seriously boring, and it's starting to gnaw at my nerves. Yesterday, I decided that I'd try to work the word 'delicious' into conversation as much as possible just to kill time. I managed it 36 times during the course of my shift.. no one even noticed, so I spent most of the day just chuckling to myself. People here probably think that I'm losing it.
Added to that, I've had an incredibly annoying day. To keep myself amused, I substituted the default Twitter question 'What are you doing?' with 'Do you Have To.. ?' and have been tweeting myself all day.
Yep, I'm very busy..
(This is what happens when I'm bored, sorry.)
Why Life is Way Sweeter Before 08:00:
Coworker slips on the wet floor in front of me, and the first thing that runs through my head is 'my god, I'm gonna have to drop this coffee to catch him!'
//
MM: it's such a shame.
JB: what's that?
MM: there's only one good-looking girl that works in here, and she's on afternoons.
JB: story of my life, sir: pretty girl, bad timing.
MM: I love watching her walk by.
JB: you are a dirty, dirty old man. Isn't she like 19?
MM: [Laughing hysterically]
JB: I aspire to level of dirty-old-man-scumbaggery some day.. y'know, walking around with a cane lifting up skirts, cackling wildly..
MM: why wait?
JB: don't have a good enough reason to carry a cane at such a young age.
//
SC: ..actually, I was at the bike show last year and they had a vintage Vespa from 1965 or something. They pretty much look exactly the same now as they used to.
MC: if I lived in the city, I'd probably get a little scooter to boot around on.
JB: of course, you'd have to buy a frilly pink dress to wear while you drove that thing around, Sally.
MC: oh, I've already got one of those. I like the feel of the wind on my nether-regions.. maybe some ass-less chaps..
JB: crossing lines here in dispatch today, are we? No taboo left unbroken?
MC: dispatch without borders.
PM: like that TV channel, what is it? Showcase? Television without borders?
MC: pfff. Give me some anal action, then we'll talk about television without borders.
//
MC: 'What's my name? What's MY name? Fuck you, that's my name!'
//
Do you srsly have to..
.. put a sweater on your dog?
.. order your Starbucks coffee so timidly? You came in here knowing that you were gonna have to sound like a homo ordering, so just man up.
.. honk at a red light?
.. so ardently support the preposterous notion that 'My Chemical Romance' is the greatest band in the history of music?
.. respond to every question on Fridays with 'Y'know.. it's Friday'? ie: 'Hey, how are ya?', 'Y'know, it's Friday'. And similarly -
.. break social convention by actually telling me about your life when said question is asked? Just say 'Fine, you?' like everyone else, and move along.
.. always say 'oh, thank you!' and reach for my coffee whenever I come in from Timmy's?
.. say shit like 'working hard, or hardly working?'
.. bum a smoke off me on payday? I know you've got a job, ffs.
.. wear white socks with your dress shoes?
.. walk so slowly through the crowded mall in an aimless, zig-zag pattern?
That's all I got, kiddos.. Hit the pub, you say? Brilliant!
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